Communication Tips for Marriages, Part 1/4: Honesty

Your marriage should be the most important relationship in your life. It’s a sacred bond of love between two people who have committed to spending the rest of their days together. Unfortunately, over time, unhealthy feelings of anger and resentment can weaken that bond and make you question your commitment.

The good news is that there are several things that you can do to prevent that from happening. The first thing that you can do is:

Tell the Whole Truth

Lying is one of the fastest ways to create discord in a marriage. If your spouse discovers that you have been deceiving them, this can lead to feelings of distrust and resentment. Both active lying and deceit by omission can damage trust between spouses. As I wrote in my book, Being A Gentle-Man, “Sometimes my silence is just another way to lie.”

As we strive to tell the truth, we need to remember that our truth is about us! Sentences that start with the word “you” will always be seen as attacks, rather than an attempt to be honest. As they say in A.A., it is not our job to take somebody else’s inventory. It is our job to talk honestly about how we are feeling, what we want and why that is important to us – to speak our whole truth.

These conversations might be difficult, because they force us to be more vulnerable by talking about ourselves, instead of attacking somebody else. But they create the possibility of resolution, which an attack never accomplishes.

When your marriage hits a rough patch and you want help to improve your communication, reach out to Dr. Glenn Pickering! Dr. Glenn has been a counselor for over 30 years and can provide you and your spouse with in-person or virtual marriage counseling. Check in next month for another blog about how to improve the communication in your marriage.

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